Oh No! You!! Don't!!!

At times like this we need some festive cheer. Something to raise the spirits and remind us of what it feels like to be happy. Let’s face it, Kettering needs a lift.

Instead, starting Tuesday, it gets Neil and Christine Hamilton appearing in Cinderella at the Lighthouse Theatre. Haven’t we suffered enough?

Mind you, after a couple of weeks of making an arse of themselves in front of parties of schoolkids who’d rather be at home with their Playstations, and care home residents bussed in from Burton Latimer, the Hamiltons might equally be rueing their luck. It will feel a long way from the Ritz in Paris and other treats which they enjoyed in the days when hubby was selling parliamentary questions rather than tickets for the Thursday matinee show.



Almost as traditional as panto itself are the wonderful ‘reminders’ that appear under the names of the celebrity performers, to help the 99.91% of the population to whom they mean absolutely nothing. “Tinky Winky in Teletubbies”, “BBC Radio Cornwall breakfast DJ”, “Once appeared on Stars In Their Eyes” etc. Whilst arguably this is unnecessary in the case of the Hamiltons, it would be a pity not to see “Disgraced former minister and his ghastly wife” on the promos.

Any undiscerning punters who attend the show can expect to witness at least some acting pedigree on display. After all, he had a good try at pretending to be innocent, when lying all the way through the cash for questions investigation. There should also be a regulation number of awful lines about MPs expenses and brown envelopes shoehorned into the script until it cries for mercy. Plus, as Baron Hardup, he will at least give local football fans a name they can relate to.