Thursday, 21 March 2013

Posh!!! DO IT!!!

What was I thinking by advising Peterborough United not to de-camp to Non Park?  In one fell swoop we would be rid of both Ladak and Max's folly, and free to start rebuilding our club away from the clutches of the Rolls, Cousins and Hills of the footballing world.

So....

C'mon Posh!  What are you waiting for?  Why continue to play at your crumbling sinkhole, (presumably) paying over the odds to your evil council for the right to play on your own ground?  No more than a couple of miles away (give or take) is a superbly appointed football ground just waiting for you.  Why not enjoy your football is quality surroundings featuring such attractions as: -

  • A pay car park, with hourly rates roughly equivalent pro-rata to parking in Central London
  • A tannoy system which delightfully varies between inaudible and deafening
  • Some working toilets
  • Lots of unused rooms
  • The possibility of heating in certain, select areas of the stadia complex
  • Some functioning food and drink bars - only lacking stock
  • Only two previous, careful owners
  • A barely used pitch
  • Better than average chance the ground won't flood every week
  • The distinct possibility of installing a hot water facility at a later date
  • Probable connection to electrical supply one day
  • The previous club's logos can be easily peeled off the structure
  • Midfield dynamo and confirmed burger-fan Lee Tomlin already knows the way there
  • A quiet, local, non-inbred populace, who just happen to all look like each other
  • Good, honest, football friendly landlord and owner who will bend over backwards to help

So,what are you waiting for?  If you don't snap this desirable property up quickly you may well end up losing out to your fierce rivals from Coventry (note to the owners of Coventry City FC- all the above benefits could be yours!)

Get in touch quickly.  Email the owners today to secure this wonderful facility at bentcriminalc*nts@arseemail.com.

Your initials could be here!

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