With neck braces and the Reader's Digest Guide to Great Britain at the ready, lets look at what awaits us this coming season. John Beck's appointment gives us a fair indication of what football we'll be playing, but where is another thing entirely.
We're not going to disrespect the other teams, or the division itself, and give them ample ammunition to kick our sorry arses. No, Peter Mallinger tried that tactic back in 2004, and the denizens of the Essex Ryman League spent the next 12 months sticking it back down our collective throats. Rather, we intend to give a balanced rundown of the teams we will be welcoming to Non Park in a few months time.
Curiously, the Southern League Premier division seems to divide into three rather neat geographical sections. There's a swathe of teams in the South/West stretching between Bideford and Gosport. Another group of teams in the division seems clustered around the A1-M1, whilst the third group nestle in the old kingdom of Mercia, around Coventry and Birmingham.
Or, as we will call these three groups: -
The West Country W*nkers
The A1 Arse-bandits
The Midland Muppets
Part One - The West Country W*nkers - coming soon, where no doubt the words, "bumpkin", "inbred" and "cider" will all feature strongly!