Saturday, 14 July 2012

The A1 Arse-Bandits Part 2 of 3

They're local, but we hate 'em!  And once they read this, they'll hate us too!

Chesham United FC

Miles from the Holy City - 70
Population of town - 20,000
Ground Capacity - 5,000
Home Colours - Claret and blue
Nickname - The Generals
Average Home Attendance Last Season - 349

"Must Know" Facts - They play next door to a cricket team- when we played them in a friendly back in the mid 1990's I watched more of this game than the footie.  When we beat them 10-odd years ago in either the FA Cup or Trophy, and, if I recall correctly (doubtful) Matt Fisher came on as a substitute, ran around angrily attacking everyone for 5 minutes before being sent off.

Hemel Hempstead Town FC

Miles from the Holy City - 60
Population of town - 81,000
Ground Capacity - 3,150
Home Colours - All Red
Nickname - The Tudors (at last, the nicknames are getting more interesting!)
Average Home Attendance Last Season - 244

"Must Know" Facts - Town was granted its charter by Henry VIII (hence the nickname we suspect) while he was taking a five minutes break from whoring, eating and chopping the heads of various spouses.  Former half-decent Poppies shot stopper Mark Osbourn was their most recent net minder.

Hitchin Town FC

Miles from the Holy City - 42
Population of town - 30,000
Ground Capacity - 4,000
Home Colours - Yellow and Green
Nickname - The Canaries
Average Home Attendance Last Season - 388

"Must Know" Facts - Professional "Royal-groveller" Jennie Bond comes from Hitchin.  Football club boasts nice bouncy wooden terrace a'la Colchester back in the good old days, although without the thousands packed on the terrace as at Layer Road, this terrace may not bounce quite as much!  Club website has an enormous database of old match reports.  With utter perversity I looked back on the Ryman nightmare to refresh my memory and stumbled upon this quote from the game at Rocky Road, "...but the Canaries can be satisfied with their evening's work in front of a near-1,000 vociferous crowd."  Oh for such a gate, or such an atmosphere at Non Park....

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