Sunday, 22 July 2012

The Hole that dare not speak its name

As excitement builds to a fever pitch ahead of the forthcoming season of Mickey Mouse footie there still seems to be the odd little question that remains unanswered.  Alongside the perennials such as what will the new kit look like, or are there any nice trips to the seaside during the warmer months is another nagging little question - just where will the cash come from to fill the money pit that is Non Park?

Obviously player costs will be reduced from last season - such high quality performers as the class of 2012 don't come cheap!  We may even owe Her Majesty's Constabulary a few quid less for next season (surely even our local plod can't dig up "intelligence" suggesting Chippenham Town FC constitute a clear and present danger...?)

Even though a couple of outgoings will be smaller, our other bills such as rent and utilities will remain the same.  When we couldn't generate enough income with over a thousand of us and occasionally several hundred away fans, how on earth are we going to get by with 500 of us and half a mini-bus up from Arlesley?

The Club (whatever that means nowadays) have their idea of the way forward, and committed their projected outgoings and earnings to paper for our recent CVA.  Seemingly we have a Mr H.C. Andersen amongst our Board of Directors as most of the projected income streams appear to be a work of most entertaining fiction.  Somehow this document manages to show our incomings and outgoings magically matching up!  No, really!  We are going to be solvent for possibly the first time ever - hooray!

How?  Well, there's the small matter of a projected figure in the region of a quarter of a million we expect to make from "Events" and "Donations", which makes up most of the shortfall!  I can't imagine for a moment that "Poppies Events" will magic up any big numbers, and even if if did, could it contribute to the football club given that this is a George Rolls company?  What with that little 5-year ban from football?  And did George ever really intend to plough any profits from this enterprise into the football club?  If so, what would have been in it for him?

"Donations?"  Do we have a Guardian Angel we're not aware of?  Or next week's lottery numbers?  Or the small matter of tens of thousands of teeth for the Tooth Fairy?  There's also the trifling matter of our projected sponsorship of 100K for this season, which better turn up soon too! Not to mention the numerous small companies looking to pay us some 40K this season to rent a few cold, unfurnished rooms from us!

We  managed to scrape through to the end of last season due to a combination of reneging on contracts, the supporters digging deep and the interest of a man who fancies his chances at exploiting our much trumpeted facilities.  Facilities which are well on their way to breaking two football clubs!

Kind of makes you wonder how we might get to the end  of this season, doesn't it.  2012-13 had for so long been trailed as possibly our last season due to issues with Rocky Road.  Who would have suspected that it might come true for a whole mess of other reasons?

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