Simply The Best?

In the aftermath of Spain’s Euro victory the world of sport is gripped by the question – is this the best team ever?  And if not, what is?  Are the ball hogging munchkins of 2008-2012 fit to rank alongside the throbbing, sexy Brazilians of 1970, or the Magical Magyars?  But how can you compare between different eras.  Or playing conditions.  What about the ability to eke out a result in front of three men and a dog on a wet night at Frickley?  Why has no one mentioned the Kettering Town team of 1988/89... FA Cup 4th Round AND Conference runners up in the same season.  Well we just have, and it’s time to see how the present World and European champions stack up in comparison.

1. Casillas v Kevin Shoemake. Being called upon to make a grand total of two saves and one catch in the knockout stages of the past three competitions? Come back when you’ve got your gloves dirty. Shoey gets the nod. SHOEMAKE

2. Arbeloa v Mark Nightingale. Most judges plump for the claims of the silky Madrid ace, even though he wouldn’t know how to execute a sliding tackle in the snow, taking man and – on a good day - ball without slamming into the advertising board two feet back from the pitch and impaling his knee on a protruding stud bolt.  NIGHTINGALE

3. Jordi Alba v David Heywood. Ok we’ll give them that one. ALBA

4. Ramos v Lil Fuccillo.  A tough choice, with Ramos earning points for being a goalscoring defender throughout a glittering career, but losing nearly all of them for being plastered in stupid tattoos. Lil, meanwhile, revealed no narcissistic inky squigglings when he rolled up his sleeves when the going got tough, such as when we were losing to Welling with time running out. LIL

5. Pique v Russell Lewis. There’s something deeply wrong when a defender stays as pretty as Pique after 90 minutes plus extra time. Where’s the blood soaked bandaging or Cro Magnon forehead?  And proper defenders are called Gerry or Ged or maybe Gez, not Gerard.  LEWIS

6. Alonso v Richard Brown.  Obviously Brownie.  No need to explain why.  BROWN

7. Iniesta v  Paul Richardson.  Granted, Iniesta has a mind boggling pass completion rate of 107% and once kept the ball for an entire game on his own, but we’d like to see him try that after a Macclesfield defender has put him into the cinder track in the opening exchanges. Tigger, however, fell over too often.  INIESTA

8. Xavi v Andy Wright. Both graduates of a famous footballing academy - in Andy’s case, Desborough.  Ok, Xavi has the medals but he never had to earn them after putting in a full shift for the fire brigade. WRIGHT

9. Torres v Ernie Moss.  Can you hear the ho-hums Fernando?  Girly haired show pony who only scores in end of season games, versus the immortal – sorry, immobile – Ernie.  More false teeth than a false 9, but none better at falling over and awarding himself a free kick to earn a bit of a breather.  ERNIE

10. Fabregas v Robbie Cooke.  If you had to choose one man to latch on to a half chance in the gloop of a midwinter six yard box after being kicked by Nigel Ransom for 89 minutes, and then inevitably get booked for dissent, there’s only one winner.   ROBBIE

11. Silva v Cohen Griffith.  A one man tiki taka with his mazy dribbling from the halfway line, our heart and head says Cohen.  But just to preserve a sliver of balance we’ll give it to the other guy.  If only because he got lucky and didn’t have to work his way up from Leicester United.  SILVA

SPAIN 3  POPPIES 8   

Next: Cruyff’s Holland v Big Ron’s Southern League North champions

Yeah Yeah. We once won the Maunsell Cup FOUR years in a row.